and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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