I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
