Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I think I just sharted jello shots
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