Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize