so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
