Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
