He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
