Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
