So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
