he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
