the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
