This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
