question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
