To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so that wasnt chicken after all
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
