I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
