he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
