dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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