We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
