HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
