Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
