The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I can text with my tongue
Moan for me like Helen Keller
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
