I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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