Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I forget how to act sober
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
