My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Randomize
