so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize