dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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