Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
