you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
