Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
