dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
