rhymes with "ouble enetration"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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