i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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