porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
