This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
