so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize