I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
