my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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