You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
