im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
