I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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