im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
