How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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