I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
