my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize