Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
