it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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