On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
did you just send me my own nude
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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