Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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