I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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