She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
