Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize