Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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