why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
