hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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