I wish I could teleport
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
