Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
