If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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