1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
