so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
