haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize
