i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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