guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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