Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you traded sex for a burrito?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
