just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
