After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
There r osticjed everywhere
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize