3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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