I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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