Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
