I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
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