remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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