She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You may now shotgun with the bride
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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