Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
my poor anus
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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